Three Cancer Cells walk into a bar. The Bar my begins crying ridiculously.

I am inside Vancouver, and I've decided that I could never be a city dweller. The magic ticket boxes and super fast locomotives scare me, or more accurately, the people on the super fast locomotives scare me.

But at any rate, I feel I need to address something important to myself. Humor.

I am a satirical person, I won't lie. I make light of damn near everything. From Poop to Cancer. And I have gained and lost friends because of it.
My world view, is that if you can make a joke about something, life won't drag you down as much, so I joke about near everything (there's stuff even I won't touch, despite my boundaries being far, far away from where I stand.)
And even as I have done so, I have experienced a happier life style then before. I am a happier person, and I worry less about stuff people usually worry about.
As I said before, I've lost plenty of friends because of my... style of humor, we could say, but that doesn't change who I am.
I AM WHO I AM, AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE THAT.
I am the master of my own fate, and as much as you may dislike that, you can deal with it.

Keep Calm and Carry on.

Don't Stop Me Now!

Natalie Portman is HAWT.

But that is not all. I am watching Your Highness, and thought I needed to say that.

I've been craving lately. Craving a good RPG, that is not on a console. Meaning, a tabletop RPG. Like Dungeons and Dragons.

Or the Dragon Age Tabletop. That I have. And haven't played yet.

Forever Alone...

~Keep Calm and Carry On

"Hello, my treacherous friends, and thank you for joining me here tonight. I brought you all here to discuss, as I must, how pleasant has been this demise"

I had something to say here. Really.

But now I can't remember what it was. Oh well.

The Titleless Post

Wait, by titling this post "The Titleless Post." I gave it a title, ergo, the Title is title. Crap.

At any rate, I felt the need to get used to my new keyboard, and decided the easiest way to do that is to update my blog.

So here we are.

So here we are.

That was on purpose by the way, the second one was supposed to be in a different voice, and it sounded better in my head then it did in text, but whatever. I felt the need to point that out.

But at any rate, I decided that I generally have surrendered on the entire "Liking Everyone" thing, because 90% of the population are giant pricks. 5% are slightly less pricks, 4% are gigantic A-holes, and that leaves 1% of good people left on this gigantic planet supporting almost 7 billion lives (statistic via World Bank, circa 2009).

Interesting, it's easier to type with my keyboard in my lap, rather than it on my desk. Curiouser and Curiouser.

But, as of this moment, I have 2 downloads running on Steam. One of them, being Borderlands, with all DLC, and the other being Metro 2033, which I've been meaning to pick up for a while now, but is still Forty-some dollars used at Gamestop for the 360, but was 75% off on Steam today. So they're both downloading simultaniously.

Sexy, isn't it.

But with that, I bid you adieu, I have some Dragon Age 2 calling out my name, it's all like:

"Nicholas, come play me... Come conquer the Deep Roads, and 100% clear Act 1!"

That's what I did all day today. Play Dragon Age 2. Smexy Day.

Keep Calm and Carry on, everyone.

~Nicholas/MeZmYk

Qwerty is a word?

Apparently, QWERTY is an approved word in the 4th Edition of the Scrabble Dictionary. Who knew that our modern day lingo and technology speak had invaded our Language so.
Next thing we know, 'leet' will be in the scrabble dictionary, just like it is apparently in the Google Chrome Dictionary.
But on the topic of language, there are days where I just feel like bashing my head into a brick wall, after seeing how people treat the language I have grown to love and understand these past 19 years of my life.
And QWERTY is scrabble is one of them.
Now, I live and die by the Rules of Language, which is why it irritates me so much to see how people slenderize and abuse what we take for granted every day.
Imagine if no one could speak the same language, everyone spoke random gibberish, that only they understood. Just one day, everyone you knew spoke differently then the you.
How would you feel? Alienated? Alone? Confused?
That's how I feel. Every day of my life.
I appreciate the people who make the effort to understand that our language is a beautiful mistress, that if we care and respect her correctly, we will grow and mature in it, and allow her to grow as well, and become even more beautiful.
But I ramble.

And with that, I bid you adieu for now.
And always remember,
Keep Calm and Carry On.

Angry, Angry Bi-rds!

I seriously hate that game, it's less addictive than diarrhea.

I prefer cut the rope, or tiny wings. I swear, the tiny wing bird would taste delicious.

Nyom, nyom, nyom.

Anywhore, I had an interesting experience a while back at work.

A woman approached me, and said something along the line of "Do you know someone who could help me move?" after explaining her situation to me, that I was less than interested in, seeing as I was busy at work, as per usual.

Me, thinking of groups to contract out, replied, "No, I can't think of any..."

She quickly replied, "Do you know if there are any Mormon Missionaries in town?"

At this point, I said "Why, I happen to be a Mormon myself!"

So I hooked her up with a few phone numbers to call, and she got a hold of the missionaries and that was that, until this past Saturday, when the missionaries came 'round to help move our piano.

They explained more of the situation, but I doubt you're interested in that, so we shall move along. If you want to hear the rest of this story, let me know, and I'll post the rest here or somewheres else.

Anyhow, I'm excited for September, for Dead Island and Gears of War 3.

Also, Halo 4! Woo!

~Because I'm Awesome Like That.

"You know what would go great with this pie? Some crack."

Known to Cause Insanity in Laboratory Rats.

The title has a meaning for once, surprise surprise.

I'm considering leaving my current job, to go work at a pharmaceutical plant, sorting pills for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week.

And if you know me, that says tons about how much I hate my job.

But I just want to talk quickly about the Westboro Baptist Church, and how much they suck.

For those of you who don't know who the Westboro Baptist Church is, they are a Baptist Church, obviously, that frequently pickets funerals in response to specific events. Often, they picket military funerals as Anti-Gays.

I never supported that, but what they planned next, I feel I'm justified to say one thing.

They are not supported by any Religious Image, Organization, or Faction. They are a cult, nothing more, nothing less, and very likely satanic.

They are picketing the funerals of the victims of the Norways shootings, claiming they were killed in the name of God.

In happier news, Phillip DeFranco yesterday in his "BAMF of the Day" segment brought to light two women, who saved 40 children from the massacre. While dining on the opposite side of the lake, they heard screams and gunshots, and took their boat to the camp, and started transporting children 10 at a time away from the shooting.

The best part, they returned after being shot at. The killer shot at them in their attempts to save the children, and their boat is riddled with bullet holes now, but everytime they returned, the faced death, and canned him good.

And for that, I salute you. At least there is still heroism and righteous choice in this world.

Because I'm Awesome Like That.


"It's hot. How hot is it? It's so hot, I poured McDonalds Coffee on my lap to cool off."
-Phillip J. Fry

EDIT: I found this shortly after writing this: http://goo.gl/ozn8Q

Insert Witty Banter Below:

So, today I was working, and considering that it was our 15% discount day, it was rather busy.

I was stuck working with my manager, who be awesome, Kelly, he be awesome too, and Dustin, who's brick wall stupid.

Oh wait, that was offensive to the wall.

I can understand if you don't know what a freezer box is before seeing one, but after seeing one, and asking what it is, that is a face palm.

He didn't even know that skids and pallets were the same thing.

But I digress.

I've been feeling a little unmotivated lately, I have no desire to do anything, ever. I lay in bed when I'm not working, and watch Futurama, became I'm too tired and lazy to walk over to my xbox and turn it on, and play Halo or something of the sort.

Such is my life.

In consideration though, I think I need to loose some posters. I do have a fair few, and have more en route to my house, from the Bungie HQ. #Nerd Squee#

I also think I want to do something productive tomorrow after work, because it's been too long.

Maybe I'll actually finish Duke Nukem forever!

~Because I'm Awesome like that.

"Good News Everyone!"
~Dr. Farnsworth

This is What We Do for a Living

Well, not really, I suppose.
This past weekend (Meaning the weekend of June 17, 2011 to June 19, 2011) I had the opportunity to go to the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo with my Cousin #InsertFanfareHere#
Anyhow, I just felt the need to say this:
WHY ARE COMIC NERDS SO SMELLY?
Wait, let's not be cruel like that...
WHY ARE NERDS IN GENERAL SO SMELLY??
I promise you, if you decide to take the three to ten minutes it takes to shower, you're not going to miss anything exciting! If you really need to, wake up that much earlier, so you have time to do that.
I swear, if I ever get a table at a booth, I'm going to get endorsed by Axe or something just so I can hand out free samples of Deoderant to make the experience that much more pleasurable to EVERYONE.
I'll also work with the local Fire Department for "Voluntary Showers."
Meaning, if I have to drag you by the scruff of your neck under the force of a fire hose to make you clean and smell pretty, I damn well am going to do just that!

Because I can.

Oh, I forgot about you.

Hello there, I forgot about this. Depressing. Ah well.
You can deal with it for a little longer.
[Unexpected Delay - Meaning I forgot about this]

There is no hope for me anymore

Today, I came to the realization that I am turning into my father, and very, very quickly.
If you know my father, you know that is indeed a bad thing, because he suffers manopause 9 out of 7 days a week. The math may not be sound, but if you do know him, it does make sense. I went nuts earlier today because of the fact that the DVDs, Xbox, Wii, and Gamecube game discs were out of their cases, and installed Hitler rules to make sure it remains in good condition from now on.
I also decided that to regulate it, I need a lock box to control Xbox game usage, because after two of my games got ruined by my siblings, I'm ready to snap necks.
Definitely turning into my father. Bad things are in store for the world.

Invalid Information

You know that feeling you get when you just learned that one vital piece of information that could change everyone you know and don't know forever?

Yeah, that doesn't exist.

It's just a bunch of attention whores out for your money. I'm a whore to, but it's for achievements, not attention.

Moving on, I need to clean my room. It's a disaster zone in here.

Moving on to something relevant, I've been thinking about all of these "funny" comments people have been coming out with since the Japanese Twin Disasters.

The blatant claims it's "revenge for pearl harbour" the two dates people are adding together to say it leads to "2012, the end of the world" and finally, the ever horrendous "I just dumped my Japanese girlfriend, but it's okay, their are plenty more in the sea."

Everyone who agrees with these, or finds them humorous in any way, shape, or form, deserve to enter into the deepest, darkest circles of hell, where blasphemers and tyrants live.

I know you have no form of power or the like, but you still belong there, where your sins will devour you for an eternity.

Just what I believe.

Forever Strong, my brothers and sisters against acts of racism and horrendous accusations, the reward shall be great in the end.

We'll be right.

~Because I'm Awesome like that.

"There's been a drop in the pigeon population in Ferelden, what sort of vile monster could do such a thing?"

I suppose I need to do a real post

So I finally finished Dragon Age 2 today, only took me two weeks to accomplish. We don't all have infinite time to drain into video games like so many people seem to. *caffcaffBrigenarcaffcaff*


Anyhow,  believe in something called "Cynicism" which means I will ruin your life with witty banter and insults, because I'm better than you. I'm also very bleak. Nothing is good, ever.


EVAR!


I'm also very big on myself. I be awesome, you be not, your mom be fat.


Anyhow, I've also been sitting on this idea for a book, no lie. I like writing and reading, it's why I play RPG games cause it's the best way to get a good narrative without paper cuts. Geez.


And it's actually two books in two separate settings. One will be a dark fantasy novel, the other a dark post-apocalypse novel. And as redundant as "Dark Post-Apocalypse" seems, it'll make other Post-Apocalypse stories seem like Twilight.


Sparkly, Gay, and a Waste of Time.


I'm also listening to tunes. Oh look, Collective Soul. Classy.


I also like short paragraphs, as you may see. I think it's easier to keep peoples attention with than a great huge wall of text.


Still haven't seen one as big as your mom though.


Pwn't


~Because I'm Awesome like that


"Whatever happened to Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll?
All we have now is AIDs, Crack, and Techno."

I know it's not Grammatically or Spelt correctly

I know it's Cynic, not Synic, but you expect me to hack someone's blog just to be grammatically correct? Pfeh, forget that, nubcakes.

Anyhow, was tweeting today, being cynical as usual, and I decided to start blogging again, considering I posted 4 tweets within 4 minutes, all about trending topics, and thought, may as well just put them all in one post, and than tweet parts of it through the day.

Also, you're mother is fat.

No witty pun, just fat.
FFFAAATTT.

~Because I'm Awesome like that.